In a nutshell:
-Smile. Even if you don’t love yourself, others will start to. Just takes a smile
-Laugh! Make jokes even if they’re awful. Everyone loves good jokes, but bad jokes are okay even if people laugh at how awful they are
or stare at you like you have two heads
-Stay positive! If life gives you lemons, churn um up and serve some lemonade in the midst of a war. And if the lemons are just OVERFLOWING, then.. rejoice! You are the first person to know what it’s like to swim in a pool of lemons!
-And be yourself.. who cares if no one likes you. When you do find someone with similar interests, you have found yourself a true friend. It’s impossible not to feel sad when other reject you, I know, but it is so worth it when you have just one person who you can laugh with.
And if you still want to read the whole thing and risk severe brain damage , please continue!
(I wrote this little tidbit after writing the whole thing, as I realized it was longer than I had intended for it to be)
I would make this an official entry for some MOVE thing but I just kinda felt like writing it up, nothing fancy..
I wanted to start it off by saying I'm a horribly self conscious person and I admit my faults in being sensitive when I know I probably shouldn't.. at times. I over apologize at other times --which annoys some people and I understand-- or I just lack the gut to say 'no'. And out of everything, I've had major insecurities about myself due to various reasons.
I suppose this is targeted mostly to teenage girls but if this applies to you and you're not a teenage girl, I mean no offense, but I'd love for you to read this if you will!
Whether it's completely personal or due to things like bullying, even though I can't correct what's happened or is happening, I would like to share a message shared with me by many others that I personally find very important and valuable.
Though this probably and most likely sounds cliche, I really.. don't care. Some of you won't take the advice just because it is cliche or you may have heard it before.
Well I used to be like that, and for me, nothing would change my stubborn self but recognizing it on my own.
So, I can only vouch for teen girls because I have been and am one currently. Even though I've been told I act differently or older, I'm still the age I am and even though I despise my almost natural insecurities, I have to make do with them if I want to overcome them.
I don't think I'm beautiful. Heck, I don't even truly think I'm pretty. And that's a big thing for many people. Not confident in the way you look. I could rant about personality too but I'm going to make this as short as I can so you don't have sore eyes when you're done.
It’s all about attitude, ladies.
Hey that’s cliché, I know.
I would post an example of my face when I look grumpy and when I’m smiling but hey, I’m insecure too, and I’m not so comfortable putting up images of myself for all of the world to potentially see. Figuratively, of course.
So start smiling! Be confident even if you think you have no reason to be. I know it’s hard. I try to do it and sometimes I do fail. But I’ve gotten better about it.
And everyone’s different. Sometimes it takes a friend to tell you that you’re worth living for. And other times it’s just you and yourself and you have to make that happen.
Stop complaining about what you don’t have, it doesn’t make you gain anything. It’s the most contradictory and hypocritical thing you can do. Complaining only makes you lessen your odds of making the friends you might not have. And so does frowning. I had my own period of life where I was just broken. And I wouldn’t smile or talk to anyone, just sit by myself, drawing. And it took years of miraculously-made friends, to change that back to who I was. I was lucky, the girl that took me in her group was also new and looking for friends.
But needless to say, I know some of you don’t have that luxury. And I’m sorry. But what can I do? Write this entry in hopes it does something?
Well how did you know
Smile :3 Hold your chin up. I’ve made friends who are still being bullied, and some are just so depressed that it takes hours of coaxing to bring them to even smile once. And that’s okay, baby steps are alright. But others smile throughout the whole thing.
And I’ve known people who have killed themselves. And I’m not saying they had no reason to.
But I won’t just stand and watch because even though at times I don’t know the person, I don’t care. They’re still people.
So by now, some of you are going “I’ve seen journals like this A HUNDRED times”
and then “I’ve seen the person say that they know I’ve seen these journals a hundred times” and then so on and so forth.
But oh well!
I’m making another. Too bad?
And to wrap it up because I have to go eat in a second (random, I know)
Just don’t give up. I have at times and come close to, and I know it’s different for everybody. But you’re you and though I don’t know you, I don’t care. I wish I could personally know everyone, but I can’t.
And so what if everyone says you’re ugly. I know the feeling. And it tears you down. Even if they’re just “joking”.
People can be mean and inconsiderate and not mean things. But I’m sorry I can’t change that.
I didn’t have any friends for so long. I made a handful after 10 moves now, and sometimes I’ll go a whole year without having made a single true friend and I know how that feels, believe me. But I had to decide when to stop being depressed about it, and start learning to be myself again.
Making bad jokes and puns… drawing like I got all the time in the world.. and just really being me. Even if some might find me weird, I learned to smile. I’ve been told over and over and it took years for me to realize that’s all it took. I have a few friends at school now and though I may not be as close to them as their other friends but that’s okay. They’re my friends right now and that’s what matters
And hey, no one’s perfect. Even now I still have my moments where I’m sad and it affects the way I behave. But stand straight, keep your head up, and learn to pick yourself back up. Sometimes I need a friend to help me, and others I just need time alone. And if you think I just love admitting all of this, please. I don’t think anyone likes admitting their faults.
But today, (yes this is awkward? bear with me) I was in the bathroom and taped on the door of the bathroom stall was a note directed as an answer to a statement carved in pencil above it that indicated the writer was starving themselves. Whoever this person was, she very kindly wrote the note in hopes that the person would see the note and read it. Some may say that good deeds go unnoticed. But look, I noticed. And it was my wake up call of the day to motivate me to write this.
So please, I’m not a therapist or psychologist. I have no idea how to “professionally” help people, but I make do with what I got.
I don’t care if you say you’re not worth it, I’ve had that comment over and over. What sticks out to me are comments that say they will try and be worth it.
That’s what makes the difference.